television and continued tummy issued (resolved)

zero thought all vibes; sharing taste one newsletter at a time

I’ve been writing a bunch… expect an essay at some point next week.

Paradise

I won’t lie this show is not at all what I expected when I threw on the first episode. From the original trailer, all I remember seeing was something about a woman convincing a guy to admit to killing the president, though once watching the show that wasn’t how it was actually phrased. Turns out this show is much deeper and darker than I originally thought, very mysterious (and important), it fits in my wheelhouse of shows that I tend to get drawn into. Vibe Rating: 9.2/10

Physicians Choice

IBS girlie here! Last week even after the Pepto, I still felt like my stomach wasn’t quite right yet, Sabrina went ahead and bought some probiotics that we’ve been taking all week and honestly, I have felt less bloated that I have in over a month—hand up, I stopped wearing pants for a minute because I knew I would get bloated—thanks to these probiotics I think I might have found a cure to my belly aches!

Mac Mini M4 Chip

If you have been considering a new computer system or moving from laptop to desktop, I would highly recommend this deal on the Mac Mini w/ M4 Chip, I recently started a new job and my company sent this over to me. At first I was like damn they must really be ballin’ but then I went on Amazon and realized they are financially responsible and efficient (what you want out of a start up). The machine is quite fast, I was running on a 2018 Mac Mini prior (M1 Chip) and they have made substantial progress. I don’t always love consumerism (coming from a newsletter about consumption) but when something can have a net positive affect on me every day I tend to cave.

Noah x Barbour

Noah and Barbour have been collaborating for what seems like the last year and they always have pieces that seem to mix the classic Barbour look with that hint of Noah, which I’m not sure I can describe, what that is… something like Brand Name forward Streetwear meets broader culture awareness with increasingly consistent stickershock prices. I’ve followed Noah brand since roughly 2018/2019 and they have rapidly grown in popularity though strategic collaborations and solid basics. I am a fan of this Baby Blue Wading Jacket which would cost the equivalent of about 100 readers subscribing to my premium substack :)

Shuil Coffee—DW on Knapp

We ran out of beans early this week and needed to re-up; we were leaving Goodwill on the East Beltline (good for at least 1 item each trip), and decided to stop at D&W on the way back. I browsed the coffee aisle pretty unamused, nearly buying some MapCap before going to the end of the aisle and seeing beans encased in glass with bronze-gold edged dispensers. “Shuil Coffee $9.99 per Pound” the sign read. Compared to the 14.99 for 12oz of MadCap I figured this was a no brainer. Sabrina and I deliberated on which beans seemed the most ideal. We got half a bag of Espresso, half a bag of Cafe Euro Blend, and half a bag of something else (maybe Carmel Toffee Nut). This week we have been crushing the coffee and for $9.99 a bag the flavor is pretty great (really love the molasses flavor in the espresso) I think this is probably the last good deal on coffee in all of America, so if you are near Knapp’s Corner I’d recommend grabbing a bag.

The Playlist

This week is brought to you by Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino, one of the most talented and inspirational creators of our generation. Donald is an inspiration to the manic and easily inspired creators. The way he has navigated music, directing, acting, producing, art, and design really honestly Lynchian in comparison (in relation to his blanket of inspiration—not necessarily stylistically) which is a wild thing to say, but in terms of depth and reach Donald has profoundly influenced thought quality media millions of people across the world and in my opinion he is one of the living greats.

Month 2 of 2025 down…

thx 4 reading,

derek

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Post Script—An Untitled Essay on Purpose v. Chaos

At some point in life, we are all told to "find purpose." Purpose is something said to drive people once they reach a certain age, at least colloquially that seems to be the case at the time of this writing. The directive comes at us in waves, first as gentle suggestions from guidance counselors with questionable smiles and posters of kittens hanging from tree branches, then as increasingly urgent demands from parents who've begun calculating the cost-benefit ratio of your existence, and finally as a sort of existential imperative that hovers in the cultural ether, transmitted via Instagram captions and commencement speeches and the blank stares of elderly relatives at holiday gatherings. If you don't have purpose, you should seek it. Fixate on it, dedicate so much time searching for purpose that finding purpose becomes your purpose. If you have it, you should refine it. If you refine it, you should expand it. If you expand it, you should monetize it, optimize it, and update your LinkedIn profile to reflect it…

Prior to moving to Ithaca, New York, I knew no such thing. Purpose wasn’t real. Or, if it was, it belonged to other people—people who mapped their lives out in college essays and SAT prep courses. Not people like me, there was no purpose in my life, at least no defined purpose or awareness of a purpose or anything that resembled or encouraged me to seek it. I was a typical midwestern kid, or at least from everything I gathered I was. I did things by the seat of my pants. I hate admitting it, but not in a way all too different than most of the Northeaster private school kids I would later grow to hold silent resentment for—except when they screwed up, it didn’t matter. When we did, it left scars. We didn’t pray to the same gods as the 1%. We didn’t have Ivy League Dreams…

Writing like this—self-indulgent, pitiful, and egregiously frustrating—is something that I hate to share, but it is precisely the writing that needs to be shared. If left to rot in digital purgatory (Google Drive) or in a notebook, it gets stuck—calcifies—in the brainstem on the way out, blocking the neural pathways where better ideas might flow. Yes, writing in general provides temporary relief, a provisional clearing of mental congestion, but publishing is catharsis—it allows you to truly move on to your better stuff, the work that exists beyond the event horizon of your own neuroses. The essays that will follow this one won't be labyrinths of repressed self-pity, spite, or jealousy... they will be words that might actually matter to someone other than my therapist. They will still contain opinions, certainly, but opinions relieved of emotional bias, because that's what this piece is: emotional biased gunk. But if I don't publish this gunk—if I don't exorcise it through the ritual of public confession—I merely let it fester within me.